Jade and Heruin folks. That seems to be the main topic of discussions lately. Yours truly was out and about searching high and low for everyone’s beloved feline drag queen. Sadly I’ve heard jack regarding his whereabouts, because you know, people just disappear into thin air around here. However talks of the Big Bad being dispatched in a most awesome fashion is the main topic of conversation with folks, so that’s what this gal is going to report. Before I do, can I just give a personal shout out to Aurora’s Paladin, Wish Star? Girlie, you’ve got some stones on you. Huge stones. Hope Aurora appreciates you as much as we do.
Jade was where it all began people. Some podunk little tavern away from the main center of town went kaput. Or was it KABOOM? In any case, the rumor is some chick went total meltdown on the place when the demon Gethe showed his, um, demonic hide. Now tell me folks, what woman has that sort of power, hmm? This little girl kept hearing the name Sharay mentioned. That mean anything to you guys? Means absolutely nothing to me, but I’ve got her name and number locked in my memory bank for future reference. Bet on that lady. Eyes on you.
Rise of the Aliscowri! Is it true? Who knows, but the rumor is that the followers of this mysterious Ae`Vescra, who could also possibly be the alter-ego of Tempesturo, are thriving and multiplying in Jade! This gal will be keeping close tabs on that crew.
Now there is bad news, good news, seriously crappy news and then the bestest news ever!
The bad news was that Gethe managed to escape, despite Sharay’s supernova efforts to turn him into nothing more than a really bad memory, via a portal to Heruin. Seriously, way to go lady.
Good news is that Madrin Kir, Lord Commander of Elier who was at one point Gethe’s evil minion, managed to pull himself together long enough to follow the loser demon lord through the portal. I’d like to point out he was naked at the time. Like...ding-a-ling was in full swing, folks.
Crappy news? Madam Demon Sucker couldn’t get a hold of herself and required an intervention by Valorius Malku, Bel Telal of Heruin. Man must have some skills, that’s all I’m saying. Let me put it this way people, had he NOT wrangled Sharay in, well...I wouldn’t be writing this article write now and YOU people sure as hell wouldn’t be reading it.
Moving along now to Heruin with the bestest news! The Padishah and her uber-army of elite killers, whom I’d like to add was super pissed at the invasion of her desert land by Gethe and his people, as well as Wish Star battled against the demon stooge and his army of slaves and...large hairy beasties, near Ironhold Prison. Actually the whole gang was there in that epic battle of good vs evil! Long story short: loads of dead bodies, tons of blood and gore, good guys saved the day. Oh, and rumor has it that Mr. Dangly Bits smooched on the fairy Paladin before eating sand. We here at The Chronicle do hope that Lord Commander Kir makes a full recovery so that perhaps romance might brew for the kissy face duo.
Speaking of lip-locking? Congrats to you Miss Star for being on the receiving end of some tender loving from not only the Lord Commander, but Sharay as well. That’s hot, lady. Really hot. Gentlemen, this is the stuff wet dreams are made of.
A brief mention on the other side of the world...are there dragons in Arthuran? There's talk of one being spotted, but hey...what else is there to do in the icy wasteland but drink lots and lots of booze? Perhaps this 'dragon' is nothing more than a hallucination in the whiskey soaked brain of one of Chaliceton's finest. Yeah...that was sarcasm.
With the storm passing and the calm settling in (for now?) I’d like to take the opportunity to say something to the people who took my boss: YOU SUCK GOAT TESTICLES. RETURN REID FERAL OR ELSE!
And that, my friends, is the rumor!
~Rahne~
Posted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 9:35 pm
