Bronzed bodies gleaming with oil were everywhere! The sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky, surfers were out on the waves, music was blasting and not one person gave a tin shit that a werewolf was setting up his hot dog stand.
Gotta love Jersey! Self-centered assholes. The PERFECT spot for Melvin to make some moolah during the summer. He was hoping to save up enough for a penile enlargement. Then Ita would totally dig him!
Melvin was wearing a hot pink "Italians Do It Better" t-shirt that complimented his white cap with "BITCH" emblazoned with rhinestones. The werewolf was whistling a jaunty tune as he waited for his partner in crime, some guido named Victor Sage, who was supposed to be joining him for some wiener fun in the sun!
He had his buns ready, his dogs were steaming, condiments were out and ready to be added to those deliciously juicy tubes of left over pork bits! Victor was supposed to be bringing the Italian Ice cart with him. They'd totally clean up with dogs and shaved icy goodness! Melvin waved to some bikini clad hotties who smiled and blew kisses at him.
"Yeah that's right! All the ladies love the Melvin!" With that, the werewolf strutted and posed, clenching those magnificent butt cheeks of his, his four inch peen gleaming with Hawaiian Tropic Suntan Oil. He even had his nipples pierced for this oh so special occasion. The beast chuckled as he adjusted his Melvin's Plump Wieners sign before pulling up his stool to sit and admire all the beautiful people.
Thongs were everywhere! Boobies (fake and real, mostly fake though) were bobbing left and right, begging for Melvin's hairy maw to motorboat them. The men were hawt too! Tiny speedos sporting tinier peckers. Bulging muscles flexed, though none were nearly as impressive as Melvin's. The air reeked of coconut, sand, salt water taffy, and Melvin's Dogs.
He was watching kids having fun as they spun some old lady around and relieved her of her heavy purse. Such nice children. That poor old bird must feel better now that the weight of that bag of hers was lifted. She was yelling and shaking one gnarled hand, calling for people to help her, but true Jersey fashion, no one gave a damn. Everyone was far too busy having fun! Melvin cheered the little hooligans on as they laughed and ran off, making plans to buy cotton candy and hoping to score with some lady called Mary Janna. It was all in good fun.
Two amazingly gorgeous beach bunnies came up to him and begged to have his plump wieners in their mouths, and Melvin was all too happy to oblige them. "Four bucks, please!" He beamed his wolfy grin as he handed them their bunned hot dogs. The girls giggled as they thanked him and placed two dollars in his 'Penile Enlargement Tip Jar'. Melvin waggled his brows and struck a suggestive pose to which they laughed even harder. Melvin took that as a sign that they approved of his hotness.
His music box blasted his new favorite song, and Melvin began singing about how he was sexy and knew it, when he saw what he prayed wasn't his partner.
A man in a ridiculous fedora and trenchcoat (seriously? It's like 98 degrees out!), was muttering to himself as he pushed his shaved ice cart which Melvin hoped was filled with all sorts of delicious Italian Ice in many wonderful flavors. The man, gods please don't be Victor Sage, was sweating like a crack head in a police station and cursing like a sailor as he finally made it to where Melvin was stationed.
Melvin shared his wolfish grin with Victor and stuck out a hairy clawed hand. "Hey man, how's it going? Name's Melvin, and these," he pointed to his impressive nutsack, "are my baby makers." He could see Victor was awed by his monstrous globes and couldn't blame the human for his envy. "So...you ready to make some money, dude, or what?" Melvin was hoping to make a couple of grand before the end of the day, the ambitious beastie that he was.
The werewolf dug into a brown paper bag and pulled out a neon yellow mankini, holding it out to Victor. "Here man, put this on. Chick's will dig your look, and let's face it, you'll look ten times more awesome in this than your retarded overcoat."
Melvin waited for Victor to accept his gift and change. Then maybe they could get down to business. Long Dong Melvin, here I come!
Posted: Fri May 18, 2012 8:31 pm
