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I never said that I was a good person

Discord Ambrose

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I never said that I was a good person, that I've never done things I've regretted. Demons shouldn't regret, lord knows the one that made me never regretted anything. Not the chaos that he instilled, the chaos that incurred after. But that was as it always been his crux to bear. I however had my own that in time I would have to atune for. One of which is the one that looks me in the eyes every day in a place no one but myself knows about.

I was raised a Belmont, I lied, I destroyed but more so I was a mercenary that killed without a qualm. I don't have them now either. It was just business after all when push came to shove. I dwelled in the heart as many of my family did a hated figure that was despised for what we did best, spread the seeds of descension. To spread the germs and words of discord. Hense the name.

My name by birth was Delaney Caitlyn, The last name is no longer remembered. Vincent one of the lords of the Belmont found me, a foundling child and raised me as his daughter. It was through him I gained my first set of names. Discord Belmont. And through him I gained my second name when I left. Ambrose for ambrose are eternal, they grant life beyond death.

I disguised that I was a woman for most of my life and it was through that I found and met my first husband, father of my two eldest children. Jaylen, the very image of his father. And my Lost daughter, Kitara. She became Amyraliss later on, switching first and middle to hide away. That again was my doing in the end. She like me chose the path of demonic rather then humanity.

Jaylen by the grace and probably only good act before death was sent to a mage's school that my second ex husband had sent his own son. Death had ended the first husband, and divorce then death would end the hold over me that my second one had. Amyraliss was where the second husband put her. A temple dedicated to pleasure, debachery and she seemed truely happy there. So much so, she'd long ago severed the cord that I had to her and refused to acknowledge my letters.

I can't say I don't deserve it. I've honestly never been a good mother, I never should have been one after all. Something my third daughter will atest to. Mind you, I did try the hardest with the third, she was a creation of accident, magic and well perhaps a determination to try to better myself. Of the three children known, she was the most special and talented. My Vampiric Demonic Princess, Najia. Of all my children, I suspect she hates me the most. I did side with my one husband to send her to a school though she always had anything she wanted.

Those are all known facts but there are some facts that few people know, no one but my heart, and my current lover. I've kept nothing from him, he alone knows the secrets that I harbor. Secrets that I will reveal in slow procession.

Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 12:06 am

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You think you know me, but what you know is just skin deep

Discord Ambrose

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Post subject: Re: I never said that I was a good person [private] Post

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Allow me to shift time, yes I can and will if I have to do that but I prefer to use memories like a photo album laid before you to which to expose some of my hmmm shall I say mistakes in life. Mistakes that might just sever those last cords between myself and the last of my blood line, that of my children. Perhaps that's aflare of dramatic, my lover says I'm full of them. He's a douche bag at times as he knows far to much, for his age he shouldn't know anything as he's a child in comparason to my age.

I'm not old mind you, A demon is eternal if we know how to pick and choose our fights. I don't, I expect death some day and I know Hell has a special place for me, I've been asured of it several times. I've never cared if what I did would end up being the death of me. I've never bothered to take time to research that if I do this or don't do that if it won't cost me my own life. It's never mattered to me, which was why some people were shocked when I seemed to have settled down.

A demon can fall in love after all, and sometimes love is a restraint greater then a wedding ring, greater then a collar or even a bit of paper joining you to someone else. Yes I learned I was truely capable of love but that's another story that I have no intention of revealing. Instead I intend to do a little revelations to my beloved children. And hope someday damn my dramatics, they understand why it is that I do what I do.

Of the children, Jaylen perhaps even Amyraliss will undestand and in time forgive or forget. I expect pure anger from Najia. She seems to like that emotion last time our paths crossed. But back to the weaving of web that I'm about to unfurl.

By order, Jaylen should have been the eldest, but fate would rule otherwise. He was one of a set of triplets, I lost the oldest another son that Raistlan never forgave me for. That was a reason our marriage other then well I was hired to kill him was doomed to fail. Ooops, I guess that wasn't one of my better decisions. Once the mask came off and I was unmasked as a female, life changed for me.

I miss that mask some times, it was easier to fade into the background with people thinking I was a male. And it was always amusing when other women hit on me. But as it stands throught all my rambling, Jaylen is my oldest child by fate's will. I regret it not, nor will I. However, Najia is not my youngest darling daughter either.

I'll get to explaining that later, well maybe maybe not.

A long time ago, my second husband had a set of daughters with his toy and my sister. Yes he turned my own sister as well into a demon. She a daughter of god, a bride of christ a nun for christ sake. She too is a demon, so you see there are a lot of twisted little vines here. I was paid to kill her as well when my second husband was jerked to hell where he belonged. In the end, I took a penalty for it, but I couldn't kill her. I bound her demonic powers, me a sorceress in my own right used what I was given to bind away what she was.

I couldn't deny her everything, that wasn't right. I did however make it during the daytime, she was a mere human, when she lost control of herself or fell asleep, the demoness she was came to view. She prays upon priests and pastors, choir boys that cross her path. I never saw why she didn't bother to just molest her fellow nuns, but other women never did attract her attention. It was because of her, a secret of mine is about to come to life.

I'm prone to rages and self destructive actions. I destroyed our family home in Mystra Amor, what can I say. When all else fails, burning things work. So I did, unfortunately I screwed myself in that case and if it wasn't for one of the Protectorate from Eternelle Lune, I'd have died and this story would have never come to light or even existed. Perhaps it was wrong but he shoudl have left me there.

Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 12:21 am

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You think you know me, but what you know is just skin deep

Discord Ambrose

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Post subject: Re: I never said that I was a good person [private] Post

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A life for a life, it's not an unfamiilar thing. During my weakest points of life, I always had a man there to hold me up. First my second husband, then my protectorate hero. His name is and was Aiden. He an Angel that had chose to walk the path of earth and had found his way to the halls and guards of the deSade empire. He wasn't like the rest though, he had a heart and that was what drew me in. Perhaps a longing to find something I'd lost along the way.

He nursed me back to health and in the end created a life as well. He pushed me, helped me and made me into part of what I am today. Bitch, perhaps even whore that I am let's face it I'm a Succubus after all, I get off on screwing people to death. He however always put up with those rages because he loved me, I wish truely that I could have returned his feelings. I never could.

Excuses, perhaps even lies were given to him and it formed a wall that kept me safe. My heart was never in his hands, something else was. During the years following I vanished from the world most people knew. When they saw me, I arose again like the pheonix and returned to what I did best. Fighting. I joined and fought to earn the right to be in the Protectorate of Eternelle Lune. Perhaps I felt and still do feel that I owe the deSades a debt. They took me in every time I fucked up.

So I guard, protect and am a captain under the Prince there. He's not a bad guy even if his wife long ago gave me a well deserved ass busting. I look to it rather fondly now, I really should see if she'll do it again. Again me and my short attention spans come to life and reveal nothing of what I started this little journal about. It's all about a secret that I hide from family and friends.

He knows I really don't want to do this but his hand rests on my shoulder as I write this, to purge it from my heart and blood perhaps close another door to the past. He knows if he isn't there, I'll never do it. What's more if not for his hand warningly perched on my shoulder, I'll try to sweet talk my way out of it and into bed with him.

He has a concious more then I do, despite what and whom he is. He also feels bad for the secret I hide from Aiden, my once angel lover. Someone that loved me now even though, I was no longer his. A love that will turn to hate when I get out what I'm procrastinating about. I've dropped a hint, now I'll say it flat out.

I have another daughter, she is well another half breed like Najia. However, she's not a vampire, she's well something that should be repulsed despite her loving nature. She's half angel and half demon. I'm sure Stativare is turning in hellish spot for this one and is going to drop my ass into the ninth ring of hell for it too. Sooner or later. Better later then sooner, that'd be no fun now would it.

Aiden doesn't know about her existance, I used the handy dandy excuse of my family needed me. Oh he had no clue, I hid it quite well. Neither do my children although I'm pretty damn sure they will soon. Zalika as I named her has well left her place and is on her way to the last place I want her to go. My love won't let me go and stop this. It's time he says for her to learn, for them. And time for me to face the music.

It's my fault that she left the safe , perfect world I created for her. You see, she doesn't want to be what I am. She hates her demonic heritage, she hates she doesn't know whom her father is. Hates that well in order to try to help her, I brought my sister Willow from the nunery to well alight her path with wisdom and religion. How the hell was I to know Willow would bring along her priest play toy and try to get him to rape her. That wasn't entirely my fault!

I wanted her to see that angels are not that big a deal, that it was funner to be a demon. Yea, I screwed up again. Again the hand is tightening on my shoulder, I have a feeling I have alot more explaining to do later. But for now, there is nothing I can do. I'm due on shift and parol with the other protectorate soon and my lover is growling in my ear about what a bad girl I am. That said, there is a new chapter about to be written.

I never said that I was a good girl.

Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 12:36 am

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You think you know me, but what you know is just skin deep

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