Ding Dong The Dick Is Dead! That’s right boys and girls; rumor has it that Morlis Desiderio has finally met his end! Oh sure, you can go read the obituary in the society pages but why bother when you can get the gossip straight from me! I guarantee my version is more interesting.

The Society Pages say he is survived by his children and women but I say it’s the scorching case of viral sexually transmitted diseases that will truly commemorate his life. Is stupidity sexually transmitted? Given the women in this mans life I would have to say definitively, YES.

Not that Morlis is the only culprit. This particular disease runs rampant through the male community. Why, rumor has it that Aleris’ own Maxim Redmont has been known to string a bevy of female idiots along in his wake. Really ladies, is the wang shortage so bad that you’ll hop on the first available cock regardless of the man it’s attached to? They have toys for that, you know, or you can always bat for the other team. When it doubt, go vag!

Rumor also has it that the manager of the Oak Barrel Tavern is looking for love, or at least booty. Several women have reported having something slipped into their drinks since Victor Sage took over managing the Tavern and as a result they’ve all said they lost chunks of their memory along with their panties. Medieval roofie much? Maybe it’s just a coincidence and these women just can’t hold their liquor or maybe the Tavern Manager is a sexual deviant. I’m not saying he is, I’m not saying he isn’t but…

That’s the Rumor.