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Confessions of a Fehr

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Post originally by Character_Jacquielle


Because I could not stop for Death,

He kindly stopped for me.

The Carriage held but just ourselves

And Immortality

-Emily Dickinson


I'd never given much thought on the way I was to die -- though I never had much reason to at the age of three years.

I stared without blinking across the long, dark room, into the glowing eyes of the hunter, and he looked right back at me with a delighted look upon his face. I'd seen my parents and other sibilings slaughtered before my eyes. The strongest to the weakest. Now there was only me left. The youngest of the family, the second daughter of my parents. Blood splashed over my face while I sat there frozen as he finished off my brother. Too frozen to realize tears were streaming down the sides of my face, over those same cheeks my mother coo'd over and pinched delicately while she'd tickle my tummy in play. Oh, I'd miss her..

Backed into the nearest corner I kept myself hidden within the shadows from this monster. But a child, I knew nothing of his powers, of his abilities. My family was left limp upon the floor of our home as the hunter inched closer to me with a sinister look across his features. Without realizing it, a loud squeel pushed past my thin lips. By the time my eyes had opened from blinking, the man had vanished and there was a crash. Before I was able to take it all in, there had been a soft spoken woman letting me know it was all ok. "Everything will be fine." She said. "I'm the good guy." The woman confirmed. Only a few seconds had passed but looking back on it, I can swear it lasted minutes. Soon I was swept up into the arms of a person I didn't know, squirming with wild attempts to remove myself from their grasp. Unknowing who had her, was it the man or woman, regardless I knew neither of them and had seen both attack. Feeling nothing but air whipping through her blonde curls and against her cheeks til the person holding her had stopped in their tracks suddenly. I looked up to see who still clung to my form with no sign of letting go. "Who are you?" I asked.

"Jezika." Is all she said. The look of confusion and surprise was shown across her features as she stared at me. Still scared, my body shook within her grasp. I look back on it now and I'm sure she wondered why I didn't ask other questions.. questions she's surely heard before. 'Are you going to kill me? Why me? What do you want? What did I do to deserve this?' All I wanted to know was who she was. I had this strange feeling that she wouldn't kill me. If she wanted to, she could of easily already done so. The sting of watching my entire family slaughtered before me still hadn't fully set in. As quickly as the woman I now knew as Jezika had scooped me up, she sat me down to my feet. "You're safe now. I'm sorry but I must leave you." Quickly a hand of mine responded the way I wished I could of verbally responded to Jezika by gripping at the side of her pant leg. Jezika paused to stare in my direction as those tears continued to creep down the curves of my cheeks. What would a demon do with a human child? Overwhelmed with empathy for the small child. How could Jezika just leave a toddler to fend for themselves? She might as well slit her throat now, save her from the pain of a slow death. She'd deal with the repercussions of the decision later.

The monster would become a hero.

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 8:57 pm

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Jezika never cared for those that preyed on those weaker than themselves. If you were going to fight and kill, make a sport out of it. Jezika was nothing but opportunistic, she had nothing but experiences with many different races, being as she had been most of them in her relatively short life. She had been both predator and prey, and she preferred predator. But Fate didn't always stack up in that direction. But, it wasn't until the night when fate directed her down that quiet street in hopes to get to her own home in a timely manner that she realized her path wasn't fully hers to control. Being that she wasn't human -- nor had she ever really been -fully- human, Jezika heard the screams and breaking glass. With a sigh, her instincts told her to walk away. It wasn't her fight, she should leave it be. But then her conscious kicked in. The angel on her right decided to show up tonight.

Sighing, she made her way to the house that was coinsidentally lit up like the Fourth of July. The door had been busted in, quite literally ripped off the hinges and there was blood everywhere. It stung her nose and caused Jezika to reach up and cup a hand over her mouth so she wouldn't retch. There were figures moving, haunched over dead bodies and she could hear ripping and sucking. Were these Zombies or Vampires? It was hard for her to tell. Being that she was a vampire, blood still made her a bit squeamish, but now a demon, she didn't sweat the small stuff. Though this -- this was a bit much, even for her.

Feeling the bile at the back of her throat, she reached behind her with her free hand and unsheathed the rather large, curved blade that sat against her spine at her lower back. While the creatures fed, they weren't paying attention to their surroundings, so dropping her hand from her mouth, she grabbed one by the rats nest of hair, yanked his head back and slit his throat, deep enough that even a vampire wouldn't be able to recover. With a fell yank, she ripped his head off and tossed it behind her.

Though, once the scream quickly cut from the flying head, the jig as they say.. was up.

Being tackled from behind, Jezika pitched forward and nearly landed on the half eaten corpse of a woman. And if it wasn't for the teeth that squarely found their way into her shoulder, she would have thrown up. Growling, she pushed a burst of energy into the vampire to get it off of her as she bucked him off of her back before rolling over and scrambling to her feet. There were still two more, that she could see and with much effort and more of her own blood loss, she dispatched of them as well. Much in the same way as the first.

Hearing the sniffling coming from the corner, Jezika turned her honey eyes in search for where it was coming from and then that's when she saw her. The small child hunkered in the corner, and Jezika's heart sunk. Jezika loved children, she had a small one of her own. However, she remembered being abandoned by her own parents in their selfish quest for immortality. Morlis had them killed, of course -- killed them himself to be precise, and Jezika would do the same if she needed to.

Going over to the girl, she crouched down over the body of the vampire she had yanked out of the way. "Everything will be fine." Jezika whispered. "I'm the good guy." Was she? Good or bad, Jezika never claimed to be either, but there was no use in scaring the child more. There were questions from the child, and she told her her name. Though in the back of her mind, she needed to get out of there before someone was called -- or worse, before their friends joined them. Setting the child down, Jezika turned to leave. She'd make sure someone came to the house to pick up the girl when she felt hands on her leg. Looking down, Jezika sighed. Would she know how to take care of another child? Jezika knew she had to, and before long, she swept the girl up in her arms again and quickly took her from the house. Just outside the door, she sheilded the girl's eyes as she raised her hand. There was a small spark of flame and the house soon went up in flames. It would be best to destroy the evidence. There was no need for further strain on the child, and she would be sure to kill any left in the house. All the exits would soon be blocked by flames as the house was engulfed.

"What is your name, child?" She asked finally, as she took to the shadows to take the girl home with her. No doubt, it would be interesting with Ryanne being cared for by her sister until she had the chance to return.

Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 2:07 pm

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"Jackie.." I said softly. I could barely speak. It was hard enough to get out the simple question of her name. That was all that I remember talking about that evening.

A warm bed the woman graciously offered. Scared to sleep alone but too scared to expose that fear. Though Jezika had helped me, I still knew that Jezika wasn't like me. Even at three, it was obvious. Her skin not as cold as the hunters but not like my own. As every human, scared of the unknown -- the unfamilar. So typical.

The days passed so slowly at first. With Jezika, she'd ask her questions and every so often I'd let a question pop out. She asked more of my name but at only three.. all I knew was what the family had called me. Jackie. There was more to my name but I couldn't much remember.. I didn't even know how to write it out. I only knew that it had started with a 'J'. After a few days of knowing one another, Jezika came up with her own conclusion for a name. Something she said fit me.

Jacquielle Ashlan Fehr


Jezika still calls me Jackie... Like my mother. Pain. Jezika was always saving me. She saved me from the fate my family had surrendered to. She saved my name, the one thing those hunters couldn't steal from me. She even saved my innocence.. There were times while growing up I wished to be as my sisters, as the mother I now knew. I wanted to feel apart. Not some awkward piece simply dangling there. Though they had never treated me as such. Like blood and nothing less, always. Insecurity and growing within my teenage years caused such discontent with my own race. I had built my own awkwardness.

Always striving to be the same, never taking in the glory of being something different from others. Struggling with myself since the age of eleven, by twelve I had ran off already once and had been tracked down by Jezika. Disruptive, it was hard for Jezika to be everywhere -- she had other children, her own life and there was always Morlis.. Jezika had no choice when it came to him. Best description was that I was a spoiled teen. Only two weeks after being tracked down by my mother I had ran off again! This time.. I made sure I couldn't be so easily tracked. Sad attempt for attention.

I always wondered if she even tried to track me that second time or just gave up? About a month after I had taken off the second time, there was this woman following me. Atleast it felt like it. She had been everywhere that I had been. Don't know if she ever noticed that I had seen her. I had a feeling it may of been a friend of mothers.. but I never asked questions to confirm my suspicions. I knew my mother's tricks. Maybe she was just checking up on me. I was wearing clean clothes, I was clean.. I wasn't harmed. A few more times that happened.. but after a couple of years, those trackers stopped coming.

Maybe she just thought I wouldn't come back.

Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:04 pm

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