(Verial Akilara) It had been two days since Verial had his heart to heart talk with Sahar about what he should and should not be doing with Deanna. What it boiled down to, and Verial knew already because of the guilt he felt, was that he shouldn't have slept with Deanna - in the past, present or future. Sahar had made it a point to let him know that having sex with Deanna was the last thing the two needed and in a way, he knew her words rang of the truth. So, Verial tried to put what Sahar had told him into perspective and made an attempt to push Deanna and their night together out of his head, although there were fleeting moments were thoughts of Deanna seeped into his memory. His goal to focus on other things was made somewhat easier by Deanna locking herself in her room and avoiding him at all costs. Of course, Verial did not blame her and he would have thanked her for keeping some distance had talking to Deanna been an option. Eventually, Verial knew Deanna would grow restless and would set herself free from her cage, but in the meantime, they had time and space which Sahar stressed was essential for the two of them. It was late at night and not a soul was venturing through Chaliceton's Villa. The servants had gone to sleep and Verial was left to wander the dark Villa not having been able to sleep. A bit a ways down the hallway next to the Villa's main entrance, Verial found a room where there was a grand piano surrounded by a small couch and some book shelves propped up against the walls. After lighting a few candles, Verial sat along the smooth, black wooden bench that accompanied the piano and began to play, singing softly to the music. It was not often that Verial was able to play, but he had never forgotten since he learned as a child. In some ways, it was a comfort to him and for a brief few moments, he stole a chance to relax while letting his fingers glide across the ivory keys.
(Deanna DiCorvino) Invisibility had been Deanna's weapon of choice the past couple of days, and though isolating one's self might cause some to go stir crazy, for her it was a time to reflect. Truth be told, it wasn't simply Verial she was avoiding, but Sahar as well. The healer meant well, Deanna knew, and had everyone's best interests at heart, but Deanna wasn't in the mood for a lecture from the magae. Besides, there was nothing Sahar could sit her down inform her that Deanna didn't already know. One encounter with the desert woman was enough, and Deanna had slid the bolt on her door and refused to answer it or acknowledge any who made the futile attempt to contact her. Edgar, bless his little wizened heart, would come by from time to time leaving a tray of food for the Lady Amelia. Naturally it went untouched as she found herself lacking in appetite. Part of her admired the older man's determination to entice her with food, but truthfully her stomach was a queasy mess these days, something she chalked up to stress and nerves. She slept quite a bit, and when tired of doing that, Deanna would pluck a book from the shelf that contained a select few and read, though the variety was poor. Most of it was poetry, and it took everything she had not to toss the books into the fire. She had found one book of interest, for it had to do with history of wars during a particular time period, but she found herself re-reading sentences over and over again, her attention often drifting toward a particular drow Lord. On the eve of the second night when Deanna was positive all were abed, she had snuck down to the bathing chamber. After deeming herself clean, she dried herself and with her hair still damp, donned the soft grey chemise she brought with her. The nightgown reached mid calf with bell shaped sleeves and laces in the front. It was freshly laundered and rather comfortable. She left her laundry in the chamber knowing one of the maids would venture down in the morning and padding barefoot in the hallway, considered sneaking into the kitchen for something to eat when she heard the music playing. It was softly subtle, but her sensitive ears picked up on the sound. Wondering who could be up at this time of night, and seriously considering that she was hearing things, Deanna followed the sound toward the entryway of the Villa. She caught sight of light flickering from one room, and curiousity getting the best of her, crept closer until she stood in the doorway. Stifling a groan, for honestly she should have known it was him, Deanna was about to turn on her heel and sneak away unnoticed. She stopped herself, knowing she was being childish, and drawing a deep breath Deanna found herself entering the room where Verial sat at the piano. She hated to admit she was impressed and surprised that he could play the insturment, not to mention sing...and beautifully at that. For a few moments she stood there watching him, knowing he was absorbed in music before finally finding herself seated on the couch a safe enough distance away. She drew her legs up, wrapping her arms around her knees as she listened to the soothing music, wondering how long it would take before he noticed her presence.
(Verial Akilara) Indeed, he had been absorbed in playing. There were few times where he could tune out his sensitive drow hearing and listen to other things instead. Playing the piano was one of those times. So, Deanna, as light and stealthy as she was creeping onto the couch in the same room, went unheard. In fact, he went through almost a whole other song before he heard the sound of someone else breathing softly and realized that someone was watching him. Verial stopped playing suddenly, silencing the keys and lifted his head, opening previously closed eyes to spot Deanna sitting on the couch. Her arms were wrapped about her legs, hugging her knees to her chest and she had been watching him. In some ways, Verial did not know how to take it when Deanna was watching him as she did not usually look upon him with anything other than remorse or well... disgust. This look she gave him however was different. Verial couldn't be sure but he thought he saw mild interest and then confusion. Instinctively, Verial went to stretch out his wings, an action he usually did after playing the piano. Realizing once more they weren't there, Verial folded his hands in his lap and then regarded Deanna. "I was surprised to find they had a piano here," Verial said breaking the silence. "It's quite... nice actually. Do you know how to play?" In the scope of things, Verial really wasn't sure what to say to Deanna and he wasn't sure that casual conversation was the best (in most cases it seemed to infuriate her). He could have asked her why she wasn't sleeping, but he already knew the answer to the nightmares that plagued her.
(Deanna DiCorvino) The music was as soft and soothing as a lullaby, and she found herself drawn to the sound, lost in its melody. It was only when the music stopped and silence followed did she realize he was no longer playing, and she blinked, snapping herself out of her reverie. The silence continued as they stared at each other uncomfortably and she considered something to say, but was saved by Verial who chose to draw the short straw first. Deanna arched a brow when asked if she knew how to play the instrument. "No." The word sounded harsh coming from her lips, and she chewed the inside of her cheek for a minute before blowing out a breath, feeling she should elaborate on her one word answer. "I am not musically inclined." She regarded him for a few moments, shifting upon the couch as she debated whether to leave or not. She could have asked him why he was awake, or asked him how he was doing, but she didn't. She wasn't sure if she cared enough to know the answers to those questions, or if it was just a way to break the tension between them. Deciding it would be best if she left, she rose from the couch and cringed as her feet touched the cold stone beneath them. "I did not mean to disturb you. I will leave you to your playing." It was uncomfortable being in the same room with him, and considering she couldn't find something to argue with him about, Deanna found herself groping for a topic of conversation, something she wasn't exactly a master of.
(Verial Akilara) Verial would have been lying to himself if he expected anything less, but Deanna's answers were typical of their conversations when they were not arguing with each other. This was probably the shortest conversation they had ever had and already Deanna was seeking a way out from talking to him. He watched as her bare feet touched the ground and noticed Deanna wince slightly at the feeling as she made her way out of the room, offering an apology as she went. As her back was turned to leave, Verial's brow furrowed mostly in frustration. The easiest thing would have been for him to give up on this whole situation, but Verial was known to be stubborn. Instead, he let out a soft sigh heard only to himself and spoke before she could chance escape from his presence. "Do you want me to teach you?" Verial asked and as she would turn around, Verial moved some down the piano bench and gestured to any empty spot which would leave a good few inches between them. If he had to be honest with himself, Verial didn't even know why he was asking or why he tried to grasp for Deanna's attention. Part of him, however small and tiny it was, had convinced him that there was something else between the two of them besides hatred and misery, but that was a very small speck of a feeling that was quickly dwindling.
(Deanna DiCorvino) She was nearly to the doorway when he spoke, and she froze instantly, rooted to where she stood. Teach her? She wasn't sure of what he was referring to at first until her brain clicked in motion. The piano. She turned slowly, her amber orbs seemingly wide, though it was most likely due to the dark circles that gave her that slightly haunted appearance. She watched as he shifted over on the bench and gestured for her to sit beside him. He was trying, she realized. Trying to be civil, trying to find some common ground. She bit down on her lip, hesistant to approach, but her feet betrayed her as they began moving toward his direction and her body followed. Though she had absolutely no desire whatsoever to learn how to play, she sat down regardless, fully aware of how close in proximity he was. She wasn't aware her hands were clenched into fists until she felt her nails digging into her palms, her body coiled as if ready to spring from the bench. Slowly she uncurled her fingers and lay her hands upon her lap, a sigh escaping her lips as she stared down at the keys. "I see your son," she began softly as she shifted completely away from the tutorial to Kyrian. "Mostly when I sleep, though lately I see him when I am awake." She paused for a moment, struggling for control as she closed her eyes. "I see his face, I hear his wordless screams, I smell the blood, and it kills me. In every scene that plays out it is the same...I know I should save him, I know I should try. I don't. I watch him die every time, and each time it is worse." She felt the moisture under her lids and opened her eyes, blinking rapidly to clear away the watery haze. "I can't make it stop. I can't change the dream...the nightmare. I don't know what to do." Why she was confessing this to him was beyond her. The last time they were together, and that alone gave her cause to internally groan, she had fallen asleep woke terrified. Kyrian. Always Kyrian and those faceless victims that hid in the shadows behind him.
(Verial Akilara) A few long drawn out minutes passed before Deanna reluctantly came to the piano bench and sat beside Verial, but her eyes were not on the keys or him. He opened his mouth to speak, to maybe teach her something, but he realized she had not come over to learn how to play the piano - that she was only trying to be civil if that were possible. Verial looked down at Deanna's hands as she drew them into fists, clenching them tightly. Verial thought for sure she might try to take a swing at him which was not uncharacteristic of Deanna. Instead, her hands eventually unfolded, her fingernails no longer digging into her palms. She spoke of Kyrian, how she saw him when she was awake and when she was asleep, an ever present vision of death. Verial shook his head gently and looked at her, though Deanna was obviously closing her eyes repeatedly in order to avoid anything remotely like crying. "Your nightmares may disappear if you stop blaming yourself, Deanna. It's not your fault; you were not capable of stopping Sharay from hurting Kyrian. I have a feeling Kyrian knew this and that if he could tell you, he would let you know that he doesn't blame you for what happened. Kyrian wasn't capable of hating anyone. He went out into the world to travel - to find his footing in the world - and he knew that being so exposed to danger there was a possibility of death, whether it was by Sharay’s hand or anyone elses. Still, he went when he could have stayed safe home with my mother." Verial looked down at the keys of the piano and then towards the candles which were each flickering with a single flame. "I can make your dreams stop, but that's only if you want me to and I'm almost positive you don't."
(Deanna DiCorvino) How he could speak of his son in such a casual manner was mind-boggling and Deanna turned to stare at him with angry eyes. "You want me to forgive myself?" The laughter rose in her throat. "You believe I am so stupid that I do not know I was not directly responsible?" She shook her head and shifted so she faced him. "That doesn't change the fact that I remember, Verial. That it's stored in here," She tapped at her temple with a forefinger. "My fault...Sharay's fault...changes nothing." She frowned as she wiped at her eyes. "The fact is that he didn't stay with your mother, Verial. The fact is that Elijah tore his throat out while I watched. Those are the facts." Her words were bitter laced. "You...simply accept this. I cannot. I will never just accept it, or forget it, and never will I forgive myself." She turned away from him as his last sentence replayed in her head. "You know me so well, do you? 'Almost positive', are you?" She stood then abruptly and slid from behind the piano so that she could stand before him, looking down at him. "You can make them stop, is that right Verial? How?" She smiled then and it was nothing short of cruel. "Going to magically appear in my dreams? Is that some angelic thing your people do? Oh, but wait!" She leaned forward so that she was nearly face to face with him. "You're no longer an angel, are you, Verial? I took your wings, just as I took your son." Her face was a crumpled mask of pain as she withdrew, taking a step back. "Tell me again," she whispered, "how I shouldn't blame myself. Tell me how it isn't my fault." She viewed him through amber eyes that burned with hate and guilt.
(Verial Akilara) It was not as though he was being casual or even trying to, but he could see where it might have come off that way. After all, with the loss of his wings, he had been out of touch with every emotion that wasn't really anything besides anger and guilt. Nevertheless, there was a considerable amount of emotional weight that Deanna had dumped on him just then with her sarcasm and bitter words. Somewhere in the back of his head, Verial knew that Deanna was trying to get Verial to express some sort of hatred for her. Any normal person would have; any other person would have kicked Deanna out on the streets. Still, Verial did not - even when she further wounded him by blatantly pointing out his loss of wings, his loss of angelic blood and once more, the loss of his son. At long last, Verial stood slowly placing a hand on the piano keys to steady himself, a cacophony of sounds resulting. "You misunderstood what I said. I do not expect you to easily forgive or for you to stop blaming yourself right away. I am aware these things do not happen overnight," Verial said. He found his footing and then moved away from the piano bench to stand in the door way to look at Deanna. "But what do I know? Ah, that's right. Nothing." Verial gave Deanna what could be considered a shrug, but it was a half-hearted one. As she stared at him with amber eyes laced with hate, Deanna might notice something that was visible in Verial that had not been there in quite some time. Sadness. Perhaps there was some pity there was well, but it was mostly sadness in his odd colored eyes. Deanna would not have long to linger on this however, as Verial moved passed her and headed down the hallway, likely to his bedroom.
(Deanna DiCorvino) It would seem she was doomed to forever make mistakes, and by coming here instead of heading straight to the kitchen or her room was another one to add to her list of many. She closed her eyes after he left the room, her hand resting upon the piano. There was no way she was following him, for she knew that it would lead into hurtful words and eventually physical blows that would most likely start from her. She sat down upon the bench, letting out a slow even pent-up breath as her fingers grazed over the black and white keys. "What do you know?" She repeatedly the question softly as her fingertips traced over each rectangular key. "What do I know?" She questioned as she rested her elbows upon the piano keys and cupped her head in her hands. "I know I can't do this anymore," her words were quietly spoken to herself. "I'm not strong enough to do this, I'm not." She buried her head in her hands and just concentrated on breathing, each breath was another shallow cut to her heart. The heaviness she felt upon her chest was making it near impossible to catch her breath and she forced herself to concentrate. If he could hate her. If he could lash out at her. If he could cause her the same pain she caused him, then maybe, just maybe her weight could be lifted. He did none of these things, and though he believed it a kindness, to Deanna, it would have been kinder to take a whip to her as was done to him.
(Verial Akilara) Each step Verial took was a heavy one and the walk down the hallway was taken with slow steps as if Verial was numb and couldn't quite find his own footing. Something Deanna had said pressed deep into Verial's soul and latched on like a sort of venom. When he first heard the news of his son's death, Verial was allowed a few moments to himself before being swept back into his Protector Regent role. He had never allowed himself to grieve. He had never blamed anyone for Kyrian's death, because his son was dead. What more could be done about it? On most nights, Verial left his door unlocked, in case Sahar or Deanna (for some odd reason) needed him. Tonight, he locked and bolted it shut, pressing firmly on the door for good measure. Although he knew it wouldn't be pried open easily, Verial needed to feel something solid and strong against his own fingers. Withdrawing from the door, Verial moved to his bed and sat down, his back against the head board and briefly wishing he had his raven feathered wings to lean against. For quite some time, Verial sat with his legs bent at the knees slightly, seemingly staring off into nothing. Then, as if something broke inside of him, Verial felt something warm and hot against his cheeks, a liquid that surfaced from the corner of his eyes to trail down his cheeks. He had not shed any tears for Kyrian up until this moment, because for some reason he was trying to be strong for... well no one. Eventually Verial managed to lift his hands to wipe at and smother away any additional tears that made an attempt at surfacing. He tilted his head to look at the blackness of the ceiling in his room, letting a long, shaky sigh draw from his lips. "Forgive me, Kyrian. I should have been there with you." After some time, Verial lowered his head and sunk down against the headboard of his bed to eventually lie on his side. Sleep, unfortunately, was not something that was going to come easy.
(Deanna DiCorvino) The pain was sharp and immediate and Deanna had to catch her breath as she felt it. Had she not been sitting, it would have brought her to her knees, and she had yet to understand why she was feeling the way she felt. Sure she had been thinking about Kyrian, lamenting over her own failures and guilt, but this feeling had just sprung on her out of nowhere. What started out as a dull throbbing ache that was her sadness had manifested into something so intense it stole her breath momentarily. It overwhelmed her, strangled her, and she scrambled to her feet and ran from the room. In her madness, she did not think of where to go, but allowed herself to be led by her own emotions. Taking two, three steps at a time, she skidded finally to a halt in front of Verial's door and without thinking, yanked on the handle to open the door. It was locked, and she cried out in frustration, her rage, her pain intensified as well as her fear as she jerked violently at the handle. The force of her strength snapped the metal from the wood, and she began to cry as she held the broken door handle in her hand. He had locked her out to get away from her, finally having enough of anger and accusations. Having enough of her in general. Shutting her out was not an option for her, even though she had done the same to him so many times before. This time it was different. This time her head pounded making it impossible for her to think clearly. This time her grief was so overpowering it was consuming her, choking her. She slammed her palms against the thick wooden door repeatedly, knowing the act would wake Sahar if he did not open the door. "Please," she whispered in her hoarse voice thick with tears, her hands slapping against the wood until they stung. He had every right to leave her there, to ignore her pleas, but would he do it?
(Verial Akilara) Those tears of his were let out because he was aware that eventually there would be nothing left for him to shed. No grief, no sadness, no ounce of emotion. Like Deanna had said, he was no longer an angel, or at least he was very quickly losing that part of himself and realizing he didn't have much to hold on to keep it alive. These thoughts were drowning him in a way and he felt himself swallowing thickly as he lay silent on his bed. The darkness of his room was consuming him and his fingers sought the blankets on his bed, wrapping around tightly to feel something tactile. It was a few moments before he realized someone was pounding desperately against his door trying to get inside. It was not the insistent rapping on the heavy oak, but the snapping of his door handle from the outside that broke Verial's trance. Verial looked up towards the door and listened. Somewhere in the middle of all the knocking on the door Verial heard a voice - Deanna's - weakened and thick with pain, begging him to let her inside. Verial hesitated, part of him knowing that the last thing he wanted to do right now was to see Deanna. The other part of him knew she would break it down if she felt the need to. Almost reluctantly, Verial pushed himself from the bed and walked towards the door, opening the broken knob from the inside. Deanna looked startled to see that he had opened the door for her, her hand paused in midair from striking the door again. After Verial waved her inside, he shut the door behind her and looked to her wide and frightened eyes. "What is it?" he asked, though his voice was quiet and perhaps unlike anything she had heard from him before.
(Deanna DiCorvino) She lifted her hands to strike once more at the door when it opened, and she halted her movements to avoid striking Verial in the face. He ushered her inside, though she would have forced her way in regardless and began her frenzied pace back and forth, her aching fingers clenching and unclenching the dragon scale that hung from its cord around her neck. "I don't know." Her eyes seemed enormous and panic filled as she stopped dead in her tracks and ran a hand through her hair. "Hurts...so bad...I don't know." She let out a shaky breath as she finally lifted her head to look at him, and that was all it took. The look in his eyes was nothing short of tragic, heartache was written across his face, and the tears had not quite dried on his cheeks. Deanna bore an identical appearance, and it was then at that moment she knew what to say. "He's gone," She said so quietly even she wasn't sure if she had spoken aloud or not. "He's gone, Verial. I'm so sorry...so very sorry...," her words died as she walked to him, and without thinking, she slid her arms around his waist, holding onto him with everything she had. She buried her face against his neck and began to weep. She wept for Kyrian, and for Verial, and somewhere in all of that sadness, she managed to weep for herself as well. "So...so...sorry..." she whispered and as she sobbed, she felt the scale that lay between her breasts grow warm for reasons she couldn't begin to fathom.
(Verial Akilara) Deanna broke down before him and while Verial was trying to keep himself somewhat collected in her presence, he had done a bad job. Clearly she had seen the grief that was written on his face only moments before still lingering. She was pacing and clenching her fingers around the scale she wore almost in a possessive manner. Verial eyed the trinket, wondering if perhaps he should take it away. That thought was shaken though, as he knew removing it from Deanna would destroy her. Verial wanted to reach out and stop her pacing, but eventually Deanna had done it herself. Although Deanna knew what to say at that moment, a revelation striking her about Kyrian, Verial did not. Deanna apologized for the loss of Kyrian and as her words fell short, she went to Verial and fell against him, her arms about his waist and her face buried against the crook of his neck. Verial was mostly stunned and he didn't know how to respond to Deanna's heart felt apologies and to her tears that soaked his skin. After some time, however, Verial seemed to snap out of it. His arms drew around Deanna's form to circle about her sides and pull her closer, his hands pressed against her back. Verial rested the side of his cheek against the top of her head as Deanna cried against his shoulder and neck. Verial's odd colored eyes closed as Deanna clung to his embrace and she to his. At long last, he found his voice once more. "I forgive you, Deanna."
Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 9:59 am